They say over attention brings as much developmental harm as neglect, for the brain cannot form healthy patterns and bonding, yet one cannot help feel that emotional and physical neglect are worse.
We are born to need love for the proper development of the brain and body, lack of it brings a long pain that can only end when reliable loving bonds are established. Neglect can be obvious or subtle, it can be physical, emotional or both. It can be cold or flashed with periods of hot temper and damage. It can even be interspersed with loving moments - either way, the loving bonds can't form and the pain of neglect goes on.
When problems start piling up the neglect of those we love can become a real possibility and one that takes effort to counter and put right.
The problem with being in the care of a person consumed by their own pain and grief is that your problems can't exist to them. In a weird way, you don't exist to them. And so the neglect is total.
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