Walking the halls plastered with work of people I don’t know,
My friend is laughing,
I don’t know why,
All I can think is what I am doing,
I should be somewhere else,
Soaking up the sun with the people I belong with.
I get to class and sit down in the uncomfortable plastic chair,
I turn to speak to them but then I realise,
I left them behind,
I left all of them behind,
I try to picture what they are doing now,
Probably not even missing me though I miss them.
My name sticks out like a sore thumb here,
Back then it didn’t matter,
It wasn’t important like it is now,
I instantly feel judged yet the teachers are oblivious in fact,
They even make it stand out even more,
How am I supposed to fit in now…? I can’t.
I think about telling someone,
But some sort of force propels me away from the door when I pass,
Instead I put on my mask, my facade,
No-one should have to know the way I feel,
It was my choice,
Only now do I realise it was the wrong one.
And my parents my poor, poor parents,
They think they have a strong daughter,
Someone who they can rely on for doing the best for the family,
I can’t bring myself to tell them,
That I would rather have a helmet sewn onto my jumper,
I made the wrong choice.
I would be wandering the halls of a knight,
Arm in arm with the people that I have known for years,
If I had just said the different name,
Hidden from prying eyes,
Moving forward with my other schools,
With people I trust with my secrets…with my entire life.
Instead fake it,
Because if I uttered one word to my ‘friends’ they would tell,
Even if I said not too,
Then the adults will get involved and my cover will be blown,
My parents would know and would try to deny its importance,
That I should tell them the truth.
That I don’t belong in this school