General

I walk like my limbs don’t really belong to me and each step is a negotiation rather than an order. Everything hurts now. Every damn thing. I wince to cross the floor, heading to get Darwin's clothes but he runs to me and wraps his arms around my legs. I guess I’m not forgotten quite yet..I bend against the will of my joints to get down to his eye level and he looks at me wide eyed. I’m expecting a poke on the facial injury but instead he wraps his arms around my neck.

By Angela Abraham (daisy), December 9, 2014.

Found in Darwin's Ghost - first draft, authored by daisy.

General

Pain is invisible, subjective and open dispute unless it is one's own pain. Aches are worse, always taken to be less then they are and hardly ever thought of without the possibility of the sufferer magnifying their woes. Sometimes I think the reaction a person has to another's pain tells more about that person than they'd like. Maybe it's just that they were never listened to as a kid, but no matter the cause they lean toward disbelief rather than empathy.

By Angela Abraham (daisy), January 13, 2016.
General

My affliction is genetic. I watched my grandmother suffer, then my mother. I wasn't sympathetic to either one. When they curled up and cried I scowled. They annoyed me with their whimpering. There was no dinner and the house was a mess, none of my friends had to put up with that. I didn't want to be the adult, the most able, the one to do every task my father didn't have the time for. I left them. I'm not proud of it. I walked out and found a love, started a new healthy family that was fun to be around. Now the aches and pains have started. I got the "genes" after all.

Six months ago I blamed it on the change in weather, my knuckles felt too large and like they didn't want to bend. Then I felt it in other joints with a twinge of pain, not enough to complain about but too much to ignore. I haven't seen the doc yet, I know more about this than she will. Today I was on my way to pack my son's lunch when the first crippling spasm hit, doubling me over. I couldn't help but cry out. As it subsided I heard a whimper escape my lips. It was my grandmother's voice, my mother's voice, surely not my own. I turned to see Jacob run in, half his hair spiked with gel and the other half not; his face was a picture of concern. I don't deserve his kindness, I never gave it myself, but I won't push him away...

By Angela Abraham (daisy), June 4, 2015.
General

Fiona fumbles the little white pill, her mind already clamouring for the pain relief to come. It isn't that her suffering is acute, more that it never leaves her unless she sleeps. Those pills are little trap doors into moments of bliss, a few hours of tranquility. Once she is at peace she takes her tea, her afternoon cake - her pleasures without them being tainted by pain.

By Angela Abraham (daisy), January 13, 2016.
General

Looking up from the corner of the cell, I tried to steady myself trying to comprehend what was going on around me and where I was. I looked around the room it was completely empty except from some brown barrels next to me. Slowly I got up from the corner holding on to the barrels for support. My body felt as if I had been bruised in every corner. My legs felt shaky and could not support my body yet my head was the only thing that was feeling heavy. I place my hands on barrels and arched my back as the pain was rushing through my body like an igniting fire. My eyes squeezed closed as my face contorted. Never had I ever experienced such pain in my life. I could feel my head spinning ultimately I fell onto the floor my jaw clenched I grabbed a fistful of my hair pulling on it this helped to ease the pain. Slowly the pain was fading away my hand released my brown locks trembling with fear. Sweat trickled down my face my breathing slowly went back to it normal rhythm. - ZSP

By ibasedsupreme, June 14, 2015.
General

Moving without pain, without aches, was just one thing I used to take for granted. Today my muscles feel as though they have been flash-burned with acid from the inside - just sufficient to make them move like the living cells have been replaced by aging rubber bands, thick and twisted. My new granddaughter doesn't yet know that her limbs belong to her, and here at the other end of the spectrum I no longer feel like mine belong to me. No longer are we one cohesive machine of blood and bone. They are the enemy, decaying and angry. My eyes fall again to the stair in front, pebbles in concrete, inconsequential to any five year old. Before my foot has moved an inch I feel my jaw clench in anticipation and already I am resigned to the discomfort to follow.

By Angela Abraham (daisy), June 22, 2015.
General

The ache is a dull, as if some lazy torturer is standing right behind me, only applying enough pressure to be an annoyance. It sits there, just to the side of the right shoulder blade toward the spine. I could imagine it would be like this lying on a large glass marble; perhaps at first it would be pleasant yet soon it would be just like this pain of mine.

By Angela Abraham (daisy), January 13, 2016.
General

There is a stake being hammered into my lower back, the strikes radiating pain in a way that shatters my brain - or at least that's what if feels like. I lie so still, breathing shallow. All anyone sees is my form on the ground, blue jeans and white shirt on the grey carpet. They walk around me, chat and eat - blissfully unaware of the pain I endure. But what else can they do? Even if the hospital was closer we can't afford the care, who can these days?

By Angela Abraham (daisy), January 13, 2016.