A face like an overstored apple appeared from around the door frame. It was roughly at the same height as the children but with as many creases as a scrunched up brown paper bag. Her skin was the colour of melted chocolate but I suspected it had a texture closer to leather. Yet the eyes sparkled like a teenager. When she moved into the room it was with a scatty and hesitant motion, like she was unsure of being in the room. She grinned showing a perfect set of white teeth. I was about to ask her who she was when she giggled. I'd know that giggle anywhere. "Saskia!" The lumpy form shrieked.

"Daddy, don't you love it?! Isn't it great! Can I go now? Can I?"

What could I do? I pulled out my cheque-book and wrote one out to the special effects make-up school she'd been raving about for the best part of a year. Apparently medical school was off the agenda. She squealed again and dove in for a hug. I almost pulled away from the bizarre "old lady." But by now I had red lipstick kisses galore.