home economics - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
I’ve had the most awesome idea. I got it from attending an economics class. I thought it would be so dull, but the way the professor explained it all really got me thinking. I’ve also read Kant and he thought a good idea should always be good in every situation, "universality." Hey? Pardon? You think this is going to be boring and you have nails to file? No, please stay! It’s a corker of an idea. Brilliant!
It’s all about making profits, right. Cut production costs and maximize profit, you need to find a niche, right? Then franchise it and watch the cash come in. So, I found an untapped market that will help parents not be so poor in their old age, they won’t even have to save for retirement, I’m lovin’ it. So we make a system that keeps track of all a kids expenses from birth, some kind of app, something that does it automatically by scanning a code. Of course we’ll have to make a code for breastfeeding mom’s, we can’t have them being at a disadvantage from the formula feeding Moms, that wouldn’t be fair. Then when the kid turns eighteen they have access to a cheap loan to pay their parents back (with a bit of interest of course, haha, not the real kind though, just the money kind). We take a cut off the top though, we do want to be rich of course. That’ll stop all these bloody entitled kids from whining and wanting a "free ride." No "free lunches" anymore! Start counting the cash from diaper number one, that’ll teach'em for having the audacity for being born! Brilliant, eh?
We don’t have to stop there though, we can maximise profits further, economise! If we feed the kids the cheapest shit available and charge more for parental labour (we could get the pain and suffering of birth in there too, plus the hospital fees I’ll bet with some creative accounting). Think of it, you could spend the cash on foreign vacations and luxury convertible cars. What did you say? You love your kids and don't want to charge them for your love? Can't charge for Love? Hmm...
...You don’t want to charge your husband money for getting his breakfast? You don’t want to charge your wife for mowing the lawn? And you certainly won’t be charging your child for their upbringing? Well, that won’t work, Kant wouldn’t approve, in that case we have a system we can’t make universal. Bugger it, I’ll have to think some more, give me a moment...
Oh! God says he has an idea. He’s talking to me again, so sorry if I appear to stare into the distance for a few minutes. Maybe we can admire the apple tree together and the fast growing grass. Hmmm. Yeah. You have a point. OK. He says have we ever thought of universalizing the other method, taking the principles of a happy family and making it global? He says he gave everything to us for free, so why not? If people in other countries are truly your brothers and sisters in humanity, why are you exchanging currency at all? He says this is all His house anyway and He prefers more simple concepts to all the “economics” ever devised. He says try building a system around Love (Him) and giving instead of selling or trading.
He says that if you behave like a loving family, that is what you’ll be. It is the way for heaven on earth. He says you only need simple concepts like "giving," "love," "generosity" and "good honest hard work." He says think out a system based on "giving," and then try to break it - to prove it works. Btw, He says there won’t be crime either in His system, but he’d like me to tell you one of my idiotic stories about that to show how in our current “money/greed/fear paradigm crime is logical and that is why we need police, jails and guns. In His system crime is illogical and stupid, hence peace and prosperity, so without further ado, I’m going to come up with a genius criminal plan in a society that gives and Loves. Ahem….So, let’s set up the system first and then I’ll figure out an angle to make us richer than everyone else, Queens and Kings, yes? Because "we're worth it!" ;)