leaving - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
It is time for me to leave, for good. What was going on inside of you at that time was difficult, from the way you behaved it must have been painful. Yet there are times we must protect the self, protect our own hearts and souls if the damage from a friend is too much. I wanted to walk with you through any and every storm, but it was akin to trying to hold a toddler who scratched and bit for years whilst alone. And though I tried, you broke me, literally, in pieces. So I'm taking this rebuilt version of myself, "Me 2.0," and I'm going to find friends who love me and treat me well. I would always stay with a friend in any storm, yet walking into the same storm that once left me for dead, not a chance in hell.
In the gloom of the cafe our knees almost touch under the narrow table. I want to whisper to Todd, tell him the bad news gently. He deserves that. But all about us other diners talk ever louder, competing with one another to be heard above their collective din. I have a whole conversation planned, a way to let Todd know I am leaving. He must know it's coming too, I see the hurt welling in his eyes behind that New Year smile. His usual steady gaze flickers from me to the muck on our table, no ours, it is left from the previous customers. I remove my elbows and sit a little straighter. From the corner of my eye I catch a young woman staring at us, her lank mousey hair falling in ribbons about her colour-drained t-shirt. In her hand is a small writing pad and a biro, she's the waitress. Todd orders for us, after all these years he knows exactly what I want before even I do. Perhaps that's why I have to go
I walk down the street feeling rough cracks through thin soles, the wind moving as if I weren’t there at all, as if I were a ghost and nothing more. Through closed windows comes a jangle of tunes, all of them with as much flow as ice. And all at once the air is water and I’m drowning in this sea of indifference, desperate to swim up beyond cloudy skies to the stars above.
Time slowed once more, as if Leah's brain needed a “photograph,” a keepsake to give her strength in the rough times to come. Then, after time unmeasurable, a bird sang, bringing her back into his moment, as if this feathered friend was the clock, the only time-keeper that mattered. The musical sound was a balm to her mind, a seed of nature's peace given so freely.
That day at the train station we saw into each-other's souls. You knew my fears; you were everything I could have asked you to be. All you asked is that I come back safe, and as I watched you through the window you blew a kiss... a single kiss. I love you too. I really do.
There is such sadness in leaving a place of strong love, a place where fond memories grew as fast as the clover in the grass. I know I will savour each memory so strongly that it will almost live once more. I know that the strands of love will keep us together even when we are far apart. I only have to reach out with my mind and there you are, waiting to shower me with the love you always did. But right now it is my time to depart, to do what I was born to do, to make the changes and the sacrifices that are necessary. Don't think that me leaving means I love you less, know that it means I love you more.
Outside the front door is a suitcase with Roxy tied to it by her leash. Mom rushes forwards, tripping a little over the steps and calls out to Brian. He comes from the direction of the kitchen, the Magic Bullet in his hands. "I'm gonna need this for my shakes," he says, like this is just a normal day, and ducks back out of view.
Mom is already crying, "Brian, what? Where are you going?" By now the rest of us are in the living room, hanging out like video games on a jittery pause.
"Mom, I love you, I do. But if I try to pack with you here you get like this." Brian offers her a hug and she takes it, melting into his six foot frame like she's the child. He strokes her hair. "I've got a place just ten minutes away, k?"
Try not to think of the leaving part, because our lives and loves are circles and spirals rolled into one glorious mess. Though I go it is to return, in this life or another. There is no stronger glue in all the known universe than true love and I see in your heart and mind that it is what we share. The separation can only ever be temporary even though it spans beyond this mortal existence. Love is the only path we should follow, so don't think of this as abandonment, sweet child, know that is the only sure way to be certain we stay together.
Leaving is killing my soul as sure as a dagger can stop a beating heart. It isn't easy to leave even when it's the only option available. If there was no hope at all I would stay by your side and choose to die in the dark, for without your love I choose not to exist. If I stay I lose you for sure. If I go there is the chance of togetherness and a peaceful life with love. I pray that you understand, pray that you keep our love alive in your soul, for that is our bridge.
They say I'm leaving but in truth it is an escape, an emancipation. When all your life your opinion has counted for less than some pop-tart on TV, the frustration builds. There comes a time when your voice has been so cramped up inside of you need to breakout or risk breakdown. I don't hate those I leave behind, I actually love them, but I need to stretch my wings, fly into open sky. Isn't that what we "birds" and "chicks" are born to do?
In the half-light Caleb looks like the shadow he's become. Hunched over the baggage he could be anybody, and in a way I guess he is. I took our bond for granted, and in my naivety I'd thought it unbreakable. But when that bus pulls away it won't only be broken, but shattered into fragments more numerous than the stars. I want to beg, plead, get down on my knees and tell him that his life here has meaning, that our love has meaning, but I know that face. It is the one he wears when his ears are closed and his mind has put up barriers to all new information. So no matter what I say it will only push him further away. So when I walk closer it is with a mask of contentment. I wish him well with the voice that came so naturally before his plan to do great things far away, it sounds like me but it isn't. I'm already in transition to become a person I never wanted to be. The bitterness is rising like bile into my mouth and when he's gone I'll have no reason to swallow it anymore.
The cafe lies ahead, its royal blue paint glistening in the first golden rays of the day. I can see the rain drops that cling, jewel-like to to the name, "Gloria's." Outside the sidewalk that will bustle in a few short hours is quiet, the concrete oblivious to whether it is midday or midnight. My face smirks upward at the sight of the flower planter to the right, the city has put in new blooms that will give us flashes of sunny yellows and hot pinks through the springtime. If I stop walking right now I can almost hear the heartbeat of the city, quiet, like the ticking of an old Grandfather clock. Though I'm in no hurry I keep walking, the cafe isn't my destination, just a microcosm of happy memories with Ryan. No, it's the train station I'm headed for and a journey north...
I packed the last few things I had around the room with tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to leave the people that made me feel loved. All of that was soon going to be gone and I would end up with no one except myself again. I walked towards the person I surely was going to miss most and I just hugged him. I hugged him and sobbed into his chest. I didn't want to let go because I knew that if I let go, I won't be able to hold him again. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you" I whispered. "I'll be there with you even if you won't be able to see me. I'll always be there" he says back to me and just like that I get the slightest glimmer of hope. I pull away from him and I grip his hand tightly. "I love you" I say and with one last tear shedding down my face, I let go. This was it. This is goodbye. I amble my way to the door and before I grab onto the handle, I look back one last time wishing this would just all be a dream. But it wasn't. It was reality and reality hurts more than dreams.