Love and sorrow, the twins... the love comes first sweet and strong, then the sorrow that we shall never again be together in this life. I can only pray that we will be reunited in the next, that God would see fit to give us more time. But for now the loss is more than my heart can take and I feel the dark clouds looming in from above to obscure the sun. If love is a divine gift then sorrow is also, for in its enormity is the proof of what used to be.
In that moment of loss my world collapsed - where there was light became shadows, the pain coming and going like waves on frigid sand. Though my mind called out for yours the connection was gone... you were gone... and finally I knew that my time to be alone had come.
Loss is the side of loving they never warn you of... that should you loose your lover your heart is buried with them. When the dirt hits the wood it buries your soul too. There is no coming back, and so the world becomes as if made of shadows and every breath feels hollow in the chest.
For as we love we accept the pain to come, that in our world we are mortals born to live, age and die. But when my time came to loose you I wanted to be lost with you, to take that step into the unknown at your side. I resented those who reached out to me, to prevent my following your departure. So now, now in this grieving that never ends, I dedicate the rest of my life to your memory and spend each night alone.
What I once treasured is now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. It's a strange thing to lose something which you once had, like a limb torn from your body without the chance to save it. The door that was once open and welcoming was locked and disinviting. She had left me; I was alone.
You are fired!"
After he said that, my mind left the office. It flew to the reactions that my family and friends were going to have. The boss was explaining the conditions of my leaving this job, this job that I held for eleven years. Then, my thoughts ran to my desk, and of the projects and clients. These goals and that desk is no longer mine. Someone else will occupy that space, and pick up on my work schedule. I will have no more lunch breaks with any of my co-workers. There will be no more sports talk with them, and no more sharing of our lives. They will say they will keep in touch, but they know as we that this one act of the boss will end all that. Something has died here on this Monday. I miss it even now.
Bill McDonald.
The crowd was a river sweeping her away to a reality he could never give her. He watched wanting her to turn flash that unforgettable smile and gesture for him to follow but it never came, he was her past and had no place in her new life.
It's great seeing you, he smiled waiting for her to respond. "Oh, I ran into Frank, hes really excited about me being back, can't wait for us to go fishing again," she looked up unsmiling, "Uh huh, you want coffee?" Finally she was talking he felt relieved, "Sure, thank you." She reached under the counter pushed aside the can she'd just bought and brought out the can of coffee from last March that she'd been meaning to trash.
The growling of your stomach grows as you sink into the couch.
It’s been days since you’ve eaten. No appetite. The smell of food is filling enough.
“How could this happen?”
You didn't see it coming. Muscles ache from the nights of hunching over, crying. Sobbing.
“How did I not see it coming?”
You ask yourself the same question repeatedly, seeking for the logical part of the answer that you must have missed the first time. The cruel cycle of recalling every recollection and replaying it back begins.
Over time the crisp memories would blur, and the question would remain: “Why?”