regret - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
Regret is a learning tool. We let it educate us so that we can move on into a better future.
In the moment, that flash of anger protected me from the pain. Were I to relive it, I would try to summon more strength. I failed myself, and you too. I never understood before why love must be free; I do now. It must be free or the need will warp your own nature and change the love into something it should never be. Love isn't possession, but the wind beneath the wings of the one you love. So I have something new to work on, to watch for that flash of darkness and strive to be better. The problem was never you, but me. To be better, my love, I must be able to walk alone. Then I can be who I need to be, who you need me to be. Just know that I love you, that my anger was just that, a flash of fire to cover my own weakness.
There are times my brain fries up. It's no excuse I know; I own my behaviour. I try to help, try to be good, and then a trigger is flicked. My emotions turn - cold, fearful, anxious... I back away, flee or strike out at someone who loves me. In these moments I am least proud of who I am, for I fail to be the warrior I was born to be, the strong woman with the softness of a mother. Instead I show the frightened child within, damaged and afraid, the one still hiding in the dark under the train table, awaiting the next beating. I know these are things for me to work on, not for others to mitigate, I am an adult after all. Yet I ask for consideration, that my fear triggers are left alone until my body stops living in a state of flight or fight, until I find a way back to being calm and steady. I have been stable many years, caring for others, pouring out love without measure, yet never knowing how to ask for it. It is the only medicine that can heal this fractured soul. So like a stupid child I hold out for love, wide eyes and shaking limbs, still looking for that dark place all over again, but praying for the light.
Once regret has done its job, my love, move on and put those lessons to good use.
Regret is there to invite us to view past events through different perspectives than the ones we had at the time, in the action of the moment. It is this creative perspective taking that grows our emotional intelligence and gives us greater maturity.
Regret is a snowglobe - shake it up, look at it from every angle, and then let it settle on a self to gather dust.