We were hitmen and connoisseurs of the most sublime heists imaginable. We picked the truly evil, then we spooked them real good. Once they were rattled they bumped up security and we were right there ready to hire. We got into their organisation, learned how to access their finances. The minute we were ready to transfer the cash we slaughtered the evil ones, drugged the others, recruited anyone we could trust. We got rich and took a lot of back guys off the cosmic chess board. The devil lost a lot of "kings" on our watch and we lived as good as royalty.


Max had been buzzing all night. The heist would be first thing in the morning at the Royal Bank. He'd been over the check-list a thousand times. He'd tried on his bugs bunny mask and cleaned his gun. Then he'd been out to the all night drug store for women's stockings. He would feel safer with the stocking over his face too just in case the mask came off. This time tomorrow he'd be on a plane to a life of luxury in the sun. One heist and he'd retire at 24, what could possibly go wrong?

By terripotts20, October 6, 2014.

"You're through to the operator. Which of the emergency services do you require, please caller?"
"The police, there's a hoist going on at the bank."
"I beg your pardon? There's a what going on?"
"A hoist, you know, an armed robbery."'
"Ah, you mean a heist."
"That's what oi just said, didn't oi?"

By albee, July 11, 2014.