cinderella paradox - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
The "Cinderella Paradox" can operate between any gender in any direction. It comes of the emotions that accompany "marrying down." This is can be a function of the money-nexus, of racism or any kind of prejudice that evokes a superiority complex. The paradox element is that the lover who is perceived as part of the "higher" group at first sees the marriage partner as the best person in the world. They put them on a pedestal and love them in apparent unconditional fashion. However, after the honeymoon period, when challenges of cohabitation, children or careers set in, the "higher" partner starts to see their spouse not as their "queen" or "king," but as a "Cinderella." Poisonous statements once said by the "ugly sisters and stepmother" (any relative who has been derogatory about the spouse) is now said experimentally in order to win arguments, even petty ones. If this is successful the "higher" spouse compounds this position by expanding on their sense of superiority. Cinderella returns to the ashes (s)he "belongs" to, working harder to prove themselves worthy and equal. They have become simultaneously exalted (publicly) and bullied (privately). They have entered a personal hell of cognitive dissonance that is very challenging to escape. The Cinderella is, additionally, likely to have an emotional and perhaps financial dependance on the lover-turned-abuser. Should Cinderella find the courage to leave, s(he) is then blamed for the divorce on account of having "poor genetics" and "poor upbringing" and such. The lack of love and support from their spouse and in-law family is air-brushed from family history. After all... they are superior... right?