abuse of love - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
If a Catherine-wheel firework were a blade - that would be you, crying hot tears as you spin, creating random wounds without apparent consciousness. Then, once you are all "burned out," when I am bleeding from it all, you sit and await for me to fix you. I'm done. I'm out. I should have been out long ago. I'd wish you luck but no, luck can't help those who won't try to better themselves.
He has weaponised his emotional indifference, abusing rather than cherishing my loving emotions. Tears escape my eyes, running away upon my cheeks, leaving my body as if they cannot bear to witness yet another verbal assault. Threats of hateful things are spoken as if he were ordering food from a takeaway menu. Hateful things I can't explain. When they shame you in the assault they feel sure you won't share it or call for help. It just hurts. But in that context, the word 'hurt' holds a lot more meaning than usual definitions. It is a lingering pain, one you can only shake by gaining a greater perspective, by standing back and imaging yourself as someone who loves you. Then you ask, "What would they say about all this? What might their advice be?"
He told me he loved me and found ways to become physically close, chipping away at he emotional layers of protection only so that he could do the same with my clothing. Yet I was only entertainment to this man, someone to take for a "test drive," or worse still, "a joy ride," not caring if I was left a burnt out wreck at the end. His pale skin against his red scarf once made my heart leap, yet now I see it as if I was my own mother, protective for the lonely girl I was.
"You act as if I've never seen you naked before." He muttered with mocking amusement, referring to their brief love affair years back—in their most tender stages of teenage hood. She simply turned her gaze to him, swift and emanating with resigned sympathy. "Because you haven't."
If you love me you'll sacrifice yourself, you'll walk right into the flames and never blink or look back. If you love me you'll give me the things I need at the expense of yourself. If you don't then I guess you don't love me; in which case I don't love you either. So, time to prove yourself little one, walk into certain death and do it for me. Isn't that beautiful? Then I shall remember you as one who loved me and you will live on in my memory, immortalized. I will be quite safe, that is what you want, right? You do love me, don't you?
...He gave me that look He reserves for me when I’m being especially stupid. I said to him, “look, Dad, if they don’t love money why do they work like that, destroying everything?” He said that you guys do it because otherwise you don’t get to eat or have a house. He said that’s the way you guys are controlled, money, greed and fear, but to make you do things you really don’t want to do they must misuse the power of Love. "Want to feed your kids? Work so long you can’t raise them properly and accept factory farming. Want your kids to be safe from terrorists? Support your tax dollars buying warheads and guns. Want health care and education for your kids? Pay your taxes. Can't afford all that? Live in poverty. Fall further and we'll take those kids away..."
He says none of those systems (fear, greed, power, money) are compatible with Love and that’s why your world is so messed up. Oh, and just so you know, Father’s house changes how it looks all the time, but it’s always cosy. You can come with me anytime you want, when I’ve finished waking you up you’ll find yourself there all of the time, if that’s what you want...or you can choose money, can’t have both though, sorry. Maybe this is why he always said the meek would inherit his house, I guess it’s easier for them to move over to his system with no kings, no queens, no power, no money, no fear. But he has hope that they’ll join us too, it’s probably lonely in those mansions anyway.
Found in Are you awake yet? - first draft, authored by .
Whenever I'm winning an argument part of me wants to be the "big person" like Papa said I should, but I get this sick surge of glee and instead I focus on repressing a smile that shouldn't be there. Derek always makes good points, but he can't stand me being mad with him and caves way too soon. If he just pressed on a bit longer, argued better, perhaps then I'd be the person everyone wants me to be. Derek is sweet and gentle, but when he gives me the chance to be noble it's like acid in my veins and I twist the 'knife' harder. I get nastier until I can hear the desperation in his tone and see the wetness of his eyes. Six feet four and he can't beat little me in lycra and high heels. I know that's why his family hate me, they can see what I do, how I twist his heart until he reverts to being a whimpering child. Afterwards he brings me gifts, anything I want. I know I shouldn't like it but I do. I love it. He's mine, not theirs. I just need a reason to move out of state now and take him with me, I'm sick of their meddling.
If in life we are defined by the choices we make then I am a monster. I know when Cam is bleeding for love, when his eyes are moist and it's like an animal showing you its soft underbelly. I can't stop though, I don't want to. I push harder, dig deeper and get what I want. Why should I give in? I'm stronger, he's weaker and that's just life baby. He's mine and not a girl in this world can take him away. He's property. He's got LOVE stamped on his retinas every time he looks my way. So long as I treat him mean, he stays keen. But you know what, I'm no more a monster than the boss that has me working for slave wages or the man that keeps his guard dog in a draughty kennel all winter long. That's just the way we're wired, right? "Take what you can get," that's my motto, 'cause this world is full of takers and I ain't for givin.'
I am not gonna allow myself to be defeated by what I may think is love within me. I will not allow myself to go back to what is wrong, what continues to hurt me, yet, i somehow find myself back within your traps, in the chains you've made for me. I am confused as to why i continue to allow myself back within your selfish heart... but not again I WILL NOT ALLOW myself ever again to go back to what i thought was love, what was perfect and once beautiful. because now I'm better and now my heart is made of armor.
If you stay with me I'll kill you bit by bit. That's what I do to those who love me. Why, I'm not altogether sure. But when you soar high I'll drag you down. I'll stir up your anxieties just to be the one to soothe you and help you to find fault with anyone that competes for your attention. This is about as fair as I can be, it's your warning. So if you're still here in the morning you've chosen that life and if you know me at all you'll realize this isn't a joke. So, my smitten lover, you have some thinking to do.
"I love you, you know that, but it has to be done. Just take the package to Marci, that's it. Take it and don't let the cops see you. Don't look shifty, dress nice but not over the top."
"What happened to Danni? Why doesn't she take it?"
"Baby, are you questioning me? Because if you are you can get the fuck out of my face right now."
"Sorry... I'm sorry. I do love you. Just put it in my bag, alright"?
"If you tell of our little 'games' they'll take me away, lock me up and make me sad. You love me too much to let that happen, little pumpkin. So I'll tell you what, you keep out little secret and I'll take you to the ice-cream parlour on the weekend. You know I love you, right? And if they lock me up they'll take your mama away too, make her real sad. She'll cry every day and night. I know you don't want that. So what'll it be this weekend, chocolate or maple swirl?"
Your easy smiles and gentle teasings strung my heart and blinded my eyes. I overlooked your veering lies and shady actions and glanced the other way when you enjoyed the company of other women more than mine, convincing myself that it was merely the green eyed monster rearing its ugly head. But when you strayed, I knew for sure that you took me for a mindless fool. You made a mockery of my love and blamed me for your straying.
You abused my innocent love and cut off the happy strings of my heart.
You aren't worth my time or even a fleeting thought; you are a bad story and I choose to only read good ones.