You withdrew your love right at the start, as soon I was addicted to your touch. How quickly you gave me only ice. Then you sat there as if you were a victim and waited to be soothed, waited for me to pour in the warmth you refused to make for yourself. Then, as I drained over the years, you took more, accused more, had ice storms more often, more harshly... until I broke... and you blamed me for that... absolved yourself... you coward, you unspeakable coward...

By Angela Abraham, @daisydescriptionari, February 11, 2019.

I gave to you freely from a sense of deep love, yet you assumed you had taken it from dominance. I saw our relationship as cooperation, yet you saw manipulation instead of helping words, as if we were in some bizarre live game of chess. It broke my heart to realize that you saw a cold war instead of sweet love, for it was all in your head, a paranoia.

All I ever wanted to do was love you and bring happiness, to heal where you were hurt. What I gave, I gave freely from my soul, yet you thought yourself entitled to all I ever had and more. You were as a guest at a restaurant who, because he pays the bill, he feels entitled to be rude to the chef. Yet love is more akin to cooking one another meals for the joy of feeding the other, the coziness that comes from nurturing being the reward. What you saw and felt isn't love at all; I'm sorry that I failed to teach you, yet it was also your duty to learn.

I should have seen the signs, how you were cold, how you never took the initiative for connecting with touching words or physical love. I should have seen how every good thing you achieved was solely accredited to you, yet all my achievements were also accredited to you. I wish you had learned humility, humbleness and kindness, the happiness that comes from feeling as part of a team, one where each is boosted by the other, proud of the other's success. Love brings joy to giving, it is the difference between feeling as a valued helping friend or a slave; it's the magic ingredient that makes everything wonderful. What you showed me was indifference to my pains, refusing my emotional needs, demanding resilience and compliance.

Leaving you was a harsh road to my "bad place," a personal hell, yet in truth, it was also the only road to my "good place," my best chance at a better life and, with luck, one day experiencing real love. I hope you find your way too, that you learn how to truly love instead of hiding behind that mask of what you suppose friendliness is.