triggered - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing
Being triggered is akin to being forced to read the most paranoid and angry book ever written. It circles the heart, seeks to strangle hope and force a sense of withdrawal from possible future hurt. Yet when I see it for what it is this monster is exposed to the light, this troll becomes stone. It still hurts, but a chance at a better future, taking the wheel back from fear, is worth it.
When I'm feeling triggered the world and everyone it is behind fifty feet of glass. Loving bonds become inaccessible. In this mode I have to take great care not to damage bonds of love, the relationships and people who are everything to my heart and soul. For in time the glass disappears and my love returns. I wish I could stop the triggering, but if I feel unprotected or left to fend for myself it returns - it is survival mode, cold and indifferent. Yet even in these times I am cognisant of my morality. I still make good choices. I can still imagine what the better version of me would want me to do and then carry that out. I can't undo the trauma I've been through, but I can adapt and overcome.
When I triggered that's my stop light. That's when I need to revert to my contingency plans of how to behave well even when my loving empathy is temporarily offline.
When triggered, that's your stop light, or you will lose her. She can't take being shouted at. She can't take anger. She is far too vulnerable for all that. She's been through too much. So, either you want to be calm, safe, strong and loving... or you need to find another girl. The choice is yours.
Damaging relationships happens when I'm triggered and that's for me to control, to figure out and minimise. I get that. However, when others are aware of the issue it helps so much. Then I can get space without anyone being offended and return with relationships still healthy. I want to get this right. I try all the time.